For any of you who missed it, Razz at Running off at the Mind, in his infinite geniusness geniusosity smartness, is hosting the best race EVER. The virtual kind. The kind that doesn’t require getting up at the buttcrack of dawn and driving longer than it takes to run the damn race. The kind with no entrance fee. The kind that you don’t even have to run all at once if you don’t want to! (See? I told you it was good.)
So THIS is my Global Warming, My Ass! 6.66 Mile Run race report. Actually, mine was an 8-mile run. What can I say? I’m just awesome like that. But for the purposes of this post, we’ll just talk about the first 6.66 miles.
It was a Sunday. The sun was shining, the birds were chirping, and you could feel spring in the air. Now, the whole purpose of this race was to give a giant collective “EFF YOU!” to Mother Nature for the winter she put us all through, but you know what? This Sunday, Mother Nature was pretty freakin’ sweet. It’s hard to stay mad at the ol’ girl when it’s 60 degrees and sunny with a pleasant light wind. Well, pleasant MOST of the time. There were times it was more gusty and annoying.
There really wasn’t anything outstanding about the run to report, once I finally got started. I had every intention of getting an earlier start on this one, but by the time I got ready to leave the house it was already pushing noon. Then I turned on my Garmin and it didn’t waste a second telling me that my batteries were low. Shit. So I threw it on the charger and started another load of laundry. Fast forward approximately an hour. I strap on a partially charged Garmin, lace up my new Mizuno Wave Rider 13s (their maiden voyage), clip on an iPod full of Chevelle, and drive into town. I parked at the Tractor Supply and successfully ignored the pleas of the Girl Scouts to buy their evil cookies. And off I go!
Most of you won’t get anything out of the route details, but I’m including landmarks for some of my local readers that are familiar with my town. For those of you that aren’t familiar with it, this should give you just enough information to know where to come stalk me, kidnap me, and steal my car.
Mile 1 – 10:48. On the sidewalk into town, left at the nursery onto Memorial, past the Maverick gas station, the storage building place, the vet’s office, the chiropractor, the Movie Center, the church, and Walgreen’s and left onto Hwy 77. Not exactly a scenic route, but it’s a nice change.
Mile 2 – 21:34. Past Walmart, the print shop, a factory, and a day care. Sidewalk ends. Running in the road facing traffic now. Not much of a shoulder to run on, so I have to jump the curb and run in the grass at times when traffic won’t allow for the oncoming cars to move over. Note to self: This road would probably be fine for early morning runs, but not such a great one for midafternoon weekend runs.
Mile 3 – 32:38. More open road here on the bypass. Good wide shoulder to run on. Running into a pretty strong headwind here though. The bypass takes me back to the highway that Tractor Supply is on. I’m making my loop.
Mile 4 – 44:28. I feel really good, but I stop by the car when I pass to grab a couple swigs of Gatorade because I know I’ve still got several miles to go and it’s only gonna get hotter. I turn left onto Memorial again, but instead of going straight, I turn right at the Chevy dealership onto Volunteer Dr, a hot spot for walkers, runners, and people who want to let their dog poop in someone else’s yard.
Mile 5 – 55:26. Through the city park. Holy crap, I haven’t seen this many people all winter long!!! The sunshine is bringin’ ’em out of the woodwork! Make one lap around the 0.75-mile track and head back out onto Volunteer.
Mile 6 – 1:07:42. Continue on Volunteer for just a short bit then turn at Fred’s Dollar Store onto Jim Adams Dr. past the urgent care clinic, some financial building, and the movie theater. Pretty tired by this point.
Mile 6.66 – 1:15:12. I finish up my virtual race by turning left onto Mineral Wells. THE busiest street in town. The name might be different, but every city in the U.S. with a population of more than 2 has this street. You know, the one with McDonald’s, Wendy’s, and Burger King.
So there you have it. My GW,MY!6.66 mile race report and my tour de Paris. Just to finish the story, I went on to finish my run past Lowe’s and back past the Movie Center and chiropractor, etc., and wound up back at my car, right where I had left it eight miles and 1:31:02 earlier.
I’ll take my last-place prize now, please.
(Oh, and BTW, I really liked the new Mizunos. I didn’t have any of the post-run foot pain! They did, however, rub my pinkie toes. Not to the point of blisters. Just a little pink and raw. Nothin to make a fuss over.)