Maybe Next Year

In approximately half an hour, lots of people will be sitting at their computers registering for the Marine Corps Marathon.

After much arguing amongst the voices in my head, I will not be one of them.

I’m so disappointed in myself for not being any further along than I am. I’ve been thinking about it for a while, and I told myself that I would make the decision based on how I was doing when registration opened. Well, it’s opening today, and it’s just completely out of the question. It was 90 degrees here yesterday, and I STRUGGLED to get through five measley miles. It was better than last week, but still not good. The marathon is in October, so that would mean that I would be doing long runs in August and September–when 90 is considered “warm”. I just really and truly don’t believe I can hack it.

And I have to wonder if I ever will be able to. I’ve said all along that trying to train myself to be a runner is like trying to train my cat to be a dog.

What do you guys honestly think? I know lots of you have been very encouraging with all your “If I can, you can!” talk, and I really appreciate that. But I still wonder if that’s really true. If we’re all different on the outside, isn’t the same true for our muscles and hearts and lungs? Some people are predisposed to be awesome runners. I’m not that lucky. I may WANT to be a runner but I’m not. And training and will power can only change so much. I may WANT green eyes instead of blue, too, but I can’t will that to change either.