Halfway There Already???? GEEZ! The 2012 Mid-Year Check-In

It is ASTONISHING how quickly this year is flying by.  Scary, really.  Everyone told me this would happen as I got older.  Damned if they weren’t right.

At the beginning of the year, I, like everyone else, set some goals for myself.  Let’s review, shall we?

Non-running:
  • BE HAPPY, DAMNIT!!!  – SUCCESS!  While I still have my moments of stress and just feeling blue (who doesn’t?) I’ve come so far with just being able to deal with it, do what needs to be done, and move on.  This has been the most stressful year at work I’ve ever been through (and it will likely only get worse from here), but I’m managing not to let it consume me.  It’s still a struggle sometimes, but overall I’ll give myself a passing grade on this one.  
  • Continue to decrease dairy and processed foods. – SUCCESS!  Processed foods are pretty much nonexistent in my diet now, the major exceptions being Clif bars and the occasional vegan convenience food like Tofurky.  And I still have a weakness for Fritos.  It could be a lot worse.  And as far as animal products go, a tiny bit of dairy may sneak past me every now and then as an ingredient in something I didn’t make myself, but other than that, I’m DONE with animal products of any kind.
  • Save a higher percentage of our combined salaries. – FAIL.  We just haven’t made this happen.  We’re still saving, but at the same rate.  I want to kick that up a notch or two.

Running

  • Run 1,000 miles. – FAIL.  I was on track for a couple of months, but I’ve fallen behind now.  I ended June with 401.7 miles for the year.  That means I’ll have to average 100-mile months for the remainder of the year.  Doable?  Probably.  Will I make the effort?  Probably not.  (Just being honest here…)
  • Run a sub 2:10 half-marathon. – FAIL.  I was sure I would nail this one at the Shamrock Half in March, but I bonked and ended up running a 2:13:20.  Next opportunity will be in October.
  • Run a sub-27 5K.  –  BOTH?  But mostly fail.  I “officially” ran a 26:31 in February, but the course was short and I don’t count it.  It wouldn’t have been under 27 anyway.  And that’s the only 5K I ran this year.  My 5K split from a 4-mile race in April was 27:11, still 11 seconds short of the goal.  So success for the official record, fail because I personally don’t count it.  Maybe this fall…
  • Run a sub-60 10K – Neither.  I haven’t run a 10K this year.  I was sick the day of the race I planned on running to meet this goal.  Since that’s the only one I know of in this area, I may not get another chance at this one this year.
  • Cross and strength train more. – SUCCESS!  I’ve made use of my spin bike and D’s Bowflex and have done some core work.  Even though I’m calling it a success, I still want to up my game in this area the latter part of the year.  Especially going into marathon training.
So overall not a horrible year.  You win some, you lose some!  And I’ve still got six months to make progress in the areas I’m currently not succeeding in!
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Can We Say "Self-Sabotage"?

I gave myself a big dose of it yesterday.  I was down for 12 miles, my last long run before next Saturday’s half.  I was feeling better, and I’ve been having really good long runs lately, so I was pretty excited to see what I could do.

While my heart was in the game, apparently my head was not.  I made some stupid mistakes, starting the day before, but I didn’t really realize what I’d done until it was too late.  When you combine everything from still recovering from being sick, to being dehydrated, to being so focused on weight loss that I apparently forgot that calories=energy, to being lazy and not getting started early enough to avoid the glaring sun… let’s just say there was nothing good about Saturday’s 12 miles.

But whatever.  I’m not gonna let it bother me too much.  I know bad runs happen, and I was overdue for one.  It’s been a while since I’ve had a really bad one.  If I had to have one, I’m just glad to have gotten it out of the way this week instead of next.

Highs and Lows

High – Going to FL.
Low – Getting a phone call from mother-in-law the Thursday we were in FL with some very shocking news.
High – Long run in FL of 11 miles at 11:05 pace.
Low – Chafing between my ass cheeks during that run.
Low – Coming home.
High – Seeing my critters.
Low – Finding out more details on the shocking news that my MIL called about.
High – Memorial Day with the family.
Low – Father-in-law lost his job after 41 years with the same company.
Lower than low – Realizing (again) that people are evil.  They will do or say anything if they think they have something to gain from it, no matter how much of a LIE it is or how much it will make someone else suffer.
Even lower than that – Realizing how truly effed up our justice system is.  Innocent until proven guilty, my ass.
Low – Going back to work after 10 days away.
High – At least I have a job to go back to.
High – Set a new 3-mile PR.
High – Set a new 6-mile PR.
Low – Couldn’t hack it during my scheduled 13-mile long run today.  Cut it to 10 miles and walked the last two of those.  Stress?  Lack of sleep?  Dehydration?  81 and no shade?  Probably all of the above.
Low – Chafed arm pits.

I’m really struggling right now.  Not with the running.  Screw the running.  This was one bad day.  We all have them.  I ran strong during my midweek runs.  Next weekend will be better.  I’m struggling emotionally.  I hate seeing the people I love hurting.  I hate the fact that it’s so senseless.  I hate the fact that we live in such a litigious society.  I hate people that want something for nothing and will do whatever they can to try to get it.  I hate the fact that our judicial system caters to these people.  I hate the fact that I’m so weak that I’ve let these people get to me the way they have.  I hate that I’m struggling with my faith right now.  As a Christian, I know I’m supposed to pray for my enemies, and I hate that I’m not strong enough to do that.  Well, I’ve DONE it, but come on, this is God we’re talking about.  He knows I didn’t mean it.  He knows what I really feel in my heart, and He knows that it’s nothing but pure and raw hatred.

I keep telling myself, “God’ll get ’em.”  But how wrong is it that I want a front-row seat when he does?

A Week of Disappointments

I never should have cut my run short Wednesday. That half-mile was the FLICK of the first domino that set into motion the domino effect that lead to two more crappy runs to finish the week out.

I didn’t stop the timer on my Garmin when I stopped running Wednesday, so it included my drive home on my run. I have my lap length set at one-mile intervals, so I know what my time was at 4 miles, and I was playing with it after I got home, looking at my splits and such trying to figure out what time I was at 4.5 miles (Yes, I’m a math and statistics nerd–what of it?) and apparently I forgot to turn the damn thing off before I stuck it back in the drawer.

Did I realize this before I was set for my next run? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, of COURSE not. Friday after work I had driven back up to Volunteer Dr. (That’s the road uptown where I start when I want lots and lots of hills.) and was standing outside my car in the Lowe’s parking lot stretching a bit. I turned on the Garmin only to be met with a message telling me the batteries were low. So while I was supposed to do five miles again that night I didn’t. Like I said, I’m a statistics nerd. I can’t run just for the sake of running. If I’m running, I want to know how far I’m going and how fast I’m getting there. Since I didn’t know exactly where five miles would be on that route, I cut it back to three because I’ve done a three-mile route from that starting point so many times that I knew exactly where I had to turn around for an even three. I know it’s just three miles, but those are three TOUGH miles. There are hills on that route that are difficult to WALK up, much less run. I’m always exhausted afterwards. So yes, it was a short run, but it was still a challenging run. I was just disappointed I didn’t get in my five-miler.

But the biggest disappointment was the weekend’s “long” run. The schedule this weekend has been a bit hectic, and while I was planning on letting the legs rest Saturday and running Sunday, that didn’t happen. My schedule was shifted yet again, and by Saturday morning I knew that if I was going to get a long run in this weekend I’d better do it right then. The problem was that I just wasn’t prepared. I know 10 miles to most of you is nothing, but it’s still a long run for me and requires a little preparation. I hadn’t eaten much of anything Friday night, had a few beers, stayed up late… all those things not conducive to a successful run the following day. So it turned out much like you would expect. I slogged through a shitty seven miles and was ultimately in tears before calling it my third fail for the week and walking back home.

I guess I was due for a bad week. I had too many good runs in a row. But, please, whoever stole my mojo (I think it was Julie!!!), please see that it is returned to me unharmed and SOON!