Maybe I Should Just Take up Golf

Or knitting. Golf might require too much athletic ability.

I suck at running. Some days I suck less than others, and those are the days that keep me from throwing my shoes out with last week’s kitty litter. But today I REALLY suck at running.

I had a five-mile race this morning at the state park in New Johnsonville. It’s known for being a fast, easy, flat 2.5-mile in-and-out, so I was really looking forward to it, thinking I would have a new, shiny PR to put in my log.


I was over a minute slower than my last five-miler and almost two minutes slower than my old five-mile PR.

I’ve been mulling over it all day trying to come up with reasons I sucked so bad. This is the best I could do:

  • I haven’t run since last Saturday. Weather, PMS, work, and after-work obligations have just simply prevented it this week.
  • PMS. Without going into great detail so as not to scare off my male readers, I’ll just say this is something I only do roughly once a year. When I do, it’s a BITCH.
  • Diet. This is also PMS-related. My diet this week could rival that of any pothead. I have subsisted primarily the last few days on Doritos and chocolate.
  • Terrain. The road we ran on was a tar-and-chip road. After all the snow and ice we’ve had this winter, we might as well have been running on gravel or trails There were potholes and loose spots with every step. I spent the entire five miles watching the ground two steps in front of me, side-stepping and jumping often to avoid injury. I really felt like that zapped a lot out of me because I wasn’t able to just get in a zone and run mindlessly like I like to do.

So I get a big, fat FAIL for this week, but damnit I WILL have a better week next week. It’s supposed to be sunny and mid-40s every day, and I don’t have a single thing planned in the afternoons, so getting in my midweek short runs shouldn’t be an issue. Then next Sunday, I have a little rendezvous with Mr. Seven Miles.

My own personal little-over-a-quarter-marathon.

5 thoughts on “Maybe I Should Just Take up Golf

  1. Hell with golf, it's way too expensive. All those little balls? Frightening!

    I, too, generally suck at running, but have learned to embrace and be proud of that suckiness! And I totally agree with what Jen said . . . and for that matter Funderson, too!


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