Open Mouth, Insert Shoe

Okay, I just saw a commercial for these and it reminded me again of just how severely I stuck my foot in my mouth at Christmas. You’ve seen these, right? They’re the Skechers Shape-Ups, designed to “tone your muscles, promote healthy weight loss, and make it easy to get in shape.” Wear these magic shoes and ABRA CADABRA your calves will be toned, your thighs will stop traffic, and you can bounce a quarter off your ass! Okay, so that last bit isn’t in the commercials. I tend to exaggerate sometimes.
Anyway, on Christmas Eve, my mother-in-law and sister-in-law were both talking about how they each wanted a pair. Of course I would be the one to open my big, fat mouth and make a huge deal out of how hideously ugly they are (Just look at ’em! They’re FUGLY!), and how ridiculous the advertising was. Did I stop there? No. I proceeded to climb on my soapbox and preach that if you want to lose weight or tone up that you actually have to *GASP* exercise and back yourself up away from the table! Fast forward two hours to when we’re opening presents. How AWESOME did I feel when these two fine ladies each opened a pair of Skechers Shape-Ups? Yes, that’s right. They had each gotten the other a pair for Christmas. Sometimes I love being me.

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